Missing you.
Most of all your smile.
Smell.
The sound of your footsteps at 5am that I hated so much and now I’m praying to hear again, every night.
The echoes replay in this empty house.
You aren’t here with me anymore.
Even if I know where to find you, I still feel like I’m losing you every second of every long and neverending day.
We breathe, but your mind is leaving me, and with that, our memories.
Your memories.
Sometimes I wish that I was the one forgetting what it once was…because it’s just too painful.
The fear of losing you forever.
Your shaky hands grabbing onto mine.
Your soft kisses on my cheek.
Your suffering and gentle eyes looking at me, asking me for things that you don’t need and I can’t give you.
Powerless.
I can’t win this fight for us, I’ve tried.
Instinctively, run, hide, protect myself…
while I know that there’s no running away from you, Truth.
I could get hyped and crazy for a while…feeling this depressed for too long could make me want to kill myself, leaving before I get left behind, that’s one thing I do very well.
The truth is that we’ll die one day.
Truth is that you won’t recognize my face.
One day you won’t remember my name.
Shhh…
You’ll be fine, don’t worry, I’ve got you…
I’ll forever remember for the both of us.